I am going to be introduced to the pack today. I am sort of nervous. I mean I don't care what they think,
but I want them to like me. I have never been a social butterfly that was my brother. I was always hiding
from people. I am excited to meet new people. I am just not sure how they're going to react to me. This
pack does not allow new members very rarely. I didn't officially say that I want to be a part of the pack.
They aren't going to say anything until later, so the pack doesn't find it disrespectful if I say no.
I got my own little cottage. It is so small but so sweet at the same time. I love that I have my very own
bathroom not having to share one is pretty amazing. I love how open it is. I think it's pretty amazing to
have my own space. Everything is furnished. I got my own bed, a little Mini fridge and microwave which
is plenty for me, I'm not one to complain especially for their hospitality and their acceptance.
I was also grateful that some of the ladies of the pack gave me some clothes. Not the nicest clothes,
but I really don't need the nicest clothes I just need something to cover my body. I know that my
stomach is going to get bigger in time. I am just hoping I will be able to provide. I want to contribute to
the pack. I don't know how I can; I am hoping that they will tell me. I know not everyone is going to be
happy that they allowed me to join. I am hoping the reasoning behind it maybe is just simply as me
saving their Alpha. Wondering why they don't want anyone to know what they think I am.
I'm just happy to know that no matter what, I am going to be in control of my own life. Happy that they
have left me to make my own choices and not try to force anything on me. They let me choose to stay
or to leave but knowing I am pregnant I need to take care of my pup. I have absolutely no idea how I
am going to do it, but I guess I will figure it out as I go.
Seeing that it is becoming daylight, I know that the Alpha will be coming. I need to start getting ready
for the day. I want to help to complete the chores and do things that the werewolves need help with. I
don't want the other wolves to think that I am not just living here for free and not contributing to
anything. I want to be treated equally with the other pack members. I know that this pack isn't very big,
it will need fighters, and I'm trained to defend. Being pregnant, I'm not sure if that is the greatest idea.
When I'm shown around, I will ask what I can help with, so I can contribute.
I get up and look in the mirror seeing that my hair looks crazy. I decided to put some water in my hands
and put it through my hair hoping it would help even if it is just a little bit. I would be grateful I don't want
to look crazy, anyway. Once I get my hair under control, I pick out just simple clothes: a pair of black
leggings and a sweatshirt. Happy that the clothes are big on me, I love to be comfortable. Once I look
in the mirror, all my worries disappear. No matter how I look I am full of confidence because I know how
beautiful I am.
I don't want to be overly confident, but I am not going to let anybody treat me like I don't belong. I am
going to stand my ground and not take any shit from anyone. I want to stay strong. I don't want to be
weak, there's no room to be weak. I feel that this pack will accept me because their Alpha has
accepted me. If they don't accept me, then it is their loss. I am not going to kiss their ass for any kind of
acceptance from them. I know that I am overthinking all of this. I am not this kind of person But I need
I hear a knock at the door. It must be the Alpha he must be ready for me now he is a little early most
men are late so. When I go to open the door it's not alpha, it's little Jayden so excited to see his cute
“Hi Lilly, my daddy said that he is going to let you meet some of our people just to make sure you
“Why should I be nervous? Are they scary?”
“No, they're not scary they are just sometimes weird. Then again all grown-ups are weird.”
I make a frowny face jokingly, “are you saying I'm weird.”
He smiles at me and let's out a giggle knowing Lily not you your not weird you're awesome.
I walk over to him and tickle his stomach as he laughs out loud. I say “I better be awesome because I
thought we were best friends.”
He is trying to catch his breath from me tickling him “Lilly you are my best friend Lilly you are, please
stop tickling me.”
So, I stop tickling him all over “I better be your best friend.”
“I am really happy that you came and visited me Jayden thank you for being such a great friend.”
“You're welcome Lilly I really hope that we can be friends forever and ever.”
I don't know forever is a long time I would love to promise you Jayden that I will be there for you forever
and ever, but I can't make promises that I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep.
“So I Smile and say “why don't we just be happy for right now forever just seems way too long to make
“Lilly if you're ready I can take you to my daddy's house if you want me to.”
“Of course Jayden, I will follow you.”
As I watch sweet Jayden run in front of me, he is so full of life I bet the Alpha is so proud of him for the
man that he will become. I know that this sounds crazy, but Jayden is the reason how I know I still have
a heart, a loving caring heart about others. I want to be cold, but that makes me no better than the
alpha that treated me so terribly. I don't know my path that I'm going to be on, and it makes me crazy. I
do know that no matter what I am going to do the best I can for my child and myself. Not allow anyone
else control any part of my life. I need to stop resisting life and start living and that is what I'm about to
do starting right now.