“You’re just trying to scare me.”
“Get out. Now.”
When she does not immediately comply, I pull her out of the machine physically. Then, by way of demonstration, I materialize a small stuffed animal, and throw it into the chamber where she was sitting a moment or two ago. I then turn the machine on, and we both watch as a pink stuffed teddy bear, as humans would call it, is turned into pink and white goo.
“That is what would have happened to you, with a slightly larger volume.”
“Slightly larger? Are you trying to flatter me?”
“I am not,” I growl. “I am trying to alert you to the dangers which surround you on all sides, you foolish, disobedient, human wench!”
So he’s really mad, which I guessed would happen. I’m sure there’s some bondage and discipline in my future, and I can’t say I’m mad about that. I like the way his scales flare dark red and sooty charcoal when he is furious, and how his eyes darken. I bring out the sexy in this alien. There’s some reaction between us that just makes him super fucking hot. Even if he is an asshole. Hell, knowing me, probably because he is an asshole.
“You will not be leaving my sight!” he lectures. “There will not be a single second of a single day in which you find yourself alone.”
“God, why the fuck are you so mad? What’s your goddamn problem?” I know the answer, but it’s like the questions are just programmed into me. I argue when people yell at me, it’s just what I do. Fish swim. Kangaroos hop. I tell people to go fuck themselves.
“You are important to the king…”
“Right. Yeah. Get fucked.”
“I am tired of your attitude, human. Do you realize how long I have been looking for you? How concerned I was when I thought you might have been harmed?”
“Yeah. I know how worried you were. Because of your big dumb king, not because of me.”
“This big dumb king would like to know what is going on.”
Neither one of us noticed Tyrant come up behind us. I didn’t see him because Terrible is fucking massive. Terrible didn’t see him because he had his back to the rest of the ship.
I laugh at the expression on Terrible’s face. He is so fucking busted right now. Obviously, he tried to keep the whole thing quiet. He never wanted Tyrant to know that he was so incompetent he didn’t bother to Lock. The. Door.
“The human was not in her room when I went to fetch her. I found her in a storage room attempting to pilot a vacuum cleaner out of the ship.”
“That’s not good. Without our vacuum cleaner, we will be unable to clean our vacuums.”
“Precisely, sire. It could have severely compromised our vacuums.”
I get the sense that Tyrant doesn’t give a shit about vacuums, and neither does Terrible. This is like when your boss is in trouble with his boss, but you’re all pretending that’s not happening, except I’m not playing that game.
“If you cannot handle this human…” The king lets the words hang all threateningly in the way people in authority do when they’re not really sure what to do with you, but they think it should be harsh and maybe nasty.
“I can, sire. She is remarkably unruly, but I am sure I can gain control of her.”
“Is that right?” Tyrant sounds unconvinced, which prompts Terrible to make even greater promises.
“I can prove my ability to discipline her, sire. Allow me to prove it this instance.”
“Hey, what!?” This is where I interject.
This is not great for me. This is very, very bad. I have given Terrible a reason to whip the hell out of me, and to not make it any kind of enjoyable for me.
“Very well, but she must keep her undergarments on. I doubt my mate would approve of me seeing another woman naked,” Tyrant says, ignoring my very valid question.
“Whipisshh!” I make the pussy whipped sound, because that seems like a good idea. Or a bad idea, but the sort of idea that amuses me and that’s kind of the same thing as a good idea in my realm of existence.
They both look at me blankly, which is probably a good thing because it means they haven’t worked out that I just insinuated that the king of the Essence is pussy whipped like a motherfucker.
“That’s how I apologize,” I lie. “I just wanted to try to get home. It’s terrifying, being here among aliens, missing my home, not knowing what my future brings.”
I am very good at lying. I’ve practiced a lot. People say that lying is a sin, but it’s actually really useful. Which is probably why people don’t like it. It’s working now, though. Saving what remains of my skin.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t believe I was recently abducted without warning from my home planet and taken aboard a ship where I was made a captive? That’s weird, because you were pretty intimately involved in that…”