Images of Dixon dead in my arms run through my head, and my entire affect changes. My arms cross over my chest as my knee bobs faster.
Dr. Tucker seems to notice that I’m about done with this particular conversation.
She changes the subject. “So, what else is going on? Did you finish up the Montgomery job?”
“Yeah, I actually started a new job earlier this week.”
I go on to tell her about working at Whitmore house and how it needs some updating and all that. When the doc asks about my new boss, I don’t give away much because, knowing my luck, she’ll figure out that I’m highly attracted to Avery.
She gives me a look that says she knows there’s more to the story, but she doesn’t press. My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I pull it out and quickly silence it.
“Sorry, Doc. I forgot to turn it on Do Not Disturb.”
“No worries. Everything okay?”
“Just my mother. I’m sure she’s calling again to get me to meet her new boyfriend.”
“And you don’t want to?” Dr. Tucker asks.
“Not even a little bit.”
“Do you want to talk about why?”
I shift in my seat. “I just don’t see the point. There will be another new one in a month. She swaps boyfriends so often that I just don’t have time to get chummy with all of them.”
“What if this one is serious?”
“It’s not,” I reply without hesitation.
The rest of our time passes with the doctor asking me to dig deeper into the issues with my mother. I share some, but honestly, I don’t think much of anything will change my relationship with my mom—even therapy.
Too much damage has been done over the years.
When the session is over, I head back to Maple Oaks. When I started going to therapy, I picked a doctor a few towns over. Lord knows I don’t want to advertise the status of my mental health so close to home. The tongues love to wag in our small town.
On my way home, I drive down Peach Street and right past the Whitmore house. I guess now, it’s technically the Mathis house.
As I pass, I wonder what Avery is doing. I wonder if she’s enjoying the newly fixed bathtub.
I hope she is.
Images of her naked and wet run through my mind. I try to push them out before I give myself a boner. It’s already been hard enough to be around her for twelve hours a day while keeping my hands to myself.
I’ve learned to show up right at six. Any earlier than that, and I catch her doing yoga. Sometimes, it’s some kickboxing video, and others, it’s yoga. Seeing her stretching, I constantly feel like I need a cold fucking shower.
I know that it won’t help, though. Even taking mattersinto my own handdoesn’t help. Maybe if we fucked, it would help me to get my head on straight.
Or maybe once I got a taste of that sweet pussy, I would be even more infatuated.
Either way, there’s no way in hell I’m about to find out.
Thefollowingday,Ispend my morning answering emails and returning a couple of calls. After lunch, I decide to head outside and do some yardwork.